10 Steps on How to Embrace Guilt and Overcome Shame – Jeremy Foster
Hope City Church founder Jeremy Foster who resigned from his role as the church’s senior pastor after confessing to adultery, has taken to social media today to share 10 resonating insights on how to embrace guilt and overcome shame.
Foster’s life took an unexpected turn when a major mistake of his committing adultery caused significant harm to both himself and those close to him. At the time, however, he admitted candidly his wrongs and tendered a public apology.
Notwithstanding, in an inspiring message shared on his Instagram page, he also acknowledged his mistake, emphasizing that “My own mistakes earned me a Ph.D. in dealing with guilt and shame.”
“I messed up HUGE a few years back and it hurt many people including those closest to me. My own mistakes earned me a Ph.D. in dealing with guilt and shame. If you’ve made a BIG mistake, this is for you,” he wrote
Vividly differentiating between guilt and shame, Foster went on to pen the 10 steps on how to embrace guilt and overcome shame. He wrote:
Embracing Guilt:
- Acknowledge the Guilt: Acknowledge the action and its impact, both on yourself and others.
- Seek Understanding: Want to change the fruit? Inspect the root! Was it a mistake, a lapse in judgment, or a deeper issue?
- Take Responsibility: Own your actions and their consequences. Apologize sincerely. You can have a good defense or you can have grace, but you can’t have both.
- Focus on Repair: Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on what you can do to rectify the situation.
- Forgive Yourself: Holding onto guilt will only burden you.
Overcoming Shame:
- Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Shame whispers harsh judgments “I’m worthless” or “I’ll never be good enough.”
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in the same situation.
- Focus on Your Strengths: Shame distorts reality, so focus on your strengths to counterbalance negative self-perceptions.
- Seek Support: Talking to a friend or counselor can provide valuable perspective and support in navigating shame.
- Reframe the Narrative: You are more than your mistakes or shortcomings. Focus on your growth, resilience, and the lessons learned.
Conclusively Foster emphasized that “learning from guilt and overcoming shame is a process, not a single event.” He also urges those undergoing the process to “be patient with themselves.”